Emotional intelligence is the difference that makes the difference.

When i want something to be better than it’s today. When i want my body to feel better than it’s today. When i want my mind to feel better than it’s today. When i want my relationships to be better than they are today. Who should i go to? Sometimes we turn to our parents for better facilities, sometimes to our partners for better moments, sometimes kids for better behaviour, sometimes neighbours for better surroundings, sometimes colleagues for better performance, agree? When infact all these people can act only upto a physical level. Having to depend on others is loosing power over our lives. How we feel is independent of anything and anyone. We have the power to change the way we feel, the way our relationships are, the way our body is but we often do not turn to ourselves is because we do not even believe whether it’s me who can do it. This blog is about awakening our self that the more i am going to others the far i am going from solutions. Hence more complexity, more problems, more frustration and so on. I am the only person i should go to.

My thoughts and the way i feel. Every thought i create! Where does it influence, what is it’s effect, who does it reach? Ever wondered? Must have come across the phrase “what goes around comes around”. Simplest thought created radiates first to my mind then to my feelings then to my body eventually to my actions & then to the outside world. So you see whatever i think has utmost impact on me & my feelings.

We think our thoughts are based on the situations happening outside. For example the day things are going my way i feel happy, the day people are nice to me i feel respected, the day my kids listen to me i feel good, the day my partner takes me on dinner i feel loved and so on. We think it’s normal to feel this. So clearly the situations & the state of mind are inter connected. I want to question this usual notion. The situations are stimulus going on outside but response has to come from inside. So the response is independent of anything happening in front of me. This is emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is knowing that i am allowed to choose the way i think, the way i respond & the way i feel irrespective of what’s going on. When we say it’s obvious to feel bad, get angry, get frustrated because the situation is certain we are actually giving away our power of control over our feelings,emotions,words & more. Here we witness the futility of trying to control people. Whereas emotional intelligence is knowing when to display and when to delay the emotions.

You can’t heal in the same environment that made you sick. So keep what’s outside outside & get in youself to have better reaction. Nobody can empower you better than yourself. Make your mind the place where you have everything nice & when you sit with your thoughts you bounce back happy & healed. Don’t choose the easy way out by blaming others for your feelings. Face the challenge of being calm whatever the circumstances be. Take charge & let nothing hamper your bliss. Today promise to try a change that be the stimulus as small or as big as u can imagine, you will choose the emotion rather than doing the so called obvious. Tell yourself, my mind is quite intelligent & it says “It’s ok, loosing my peace of mind is not worth it for them or the situation”. No dependence on others is actual power. I don’t need any apology, i don’t need others to change, i don’t need others to be polite in order to be at peace within myself. Happen what may sitting a while with myself will heal me & create a better me. This is Gunjan signing off. Love & Peace ✌

Things the pandemic has taught us.

Million’s life changed forever when the coronavirus struck. Here i am trying to put in a few brighter sides of the pandemic or better to say the opportunities we can avail from it.

The experience of 2020 was tough but it also held many lessons.“What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger” the very wise words of German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche sounds true. The COVID-19 is probably one of the most exigent events in human history and it has unthinkably changed our lifestyles. But not all the adjustments and changes brought in by the lockdown were bad. We may eventually do away with the face masks, social distancing and certain other norms, but the good habits acquired during the situation are worth  maintaining for lifetime.

Maintaining health and hygiene.     Our health and survival is in our hands. From washing our hands frequently, showering regularly, staying indoors for safety, keeping ourselves and surroundings clean to sanitizing surfaces, we really understood how critical hygiene was and went to great lengths to stay clean. Good habits like these helped in protecting not only ourselves but being mindful about protecting others too.

Caring for others. Challenging times offer a great opportunity for social bonding and other ways of connecting to and helping people. Of course, not being able to visit friends or family has increased isolation and feelings of loneliness in some cases. But the feeling of “we’re in this together” has also triggered interesting ways of connecting. In the individualized societies many of us live in, this provides opportunities to reconnect and create more social coherence. Not only during the crisis, but also afterwards. Along with these new initiatives we also witnessed how far people weng to protect themselves and their kins.

Prioritizing self-careWe were quick to understand that by taking precautions, staying safe and healthy we also kept our families and communities safe. Self-care became a priority and equipped us better to get through this difficult time. Simple things like eating healthy and nutritious food for better immunity, some physical activity, getting sufficient sleep, reaching out to close friends/family for emotional and practical support, etc saw us through.

Appreciating solitudeFinally, the virus has taught us the benefits of silence and solitude so that we can look into ourselves and explore the deeper recesses of our consciousness. We are so involved in superficial activities that we seldom get time to look within.

Enjoying a hobby. Some discovered new hobbies while others continued what they liked doing earlier. Having ample time in our hands and staying in the comfort of our home we tried hands on baking, gardening, online courses, yoga, and so on. The days spent in lockdown gave us the perfect time with no excuse to dig into what we had procrastinated over for ages. It made us rediscover ourselves, develop or hone skills and get immense satisfaction from a particular hobby. Pursuing hobbies are good habits to nurture.

Consuming with consideration. COVID-19 has taught us that calamity can derail even the best-laid plans without notice. It has shown us how plans for various areas of our lives – from home renovations to family vacations, and retirement plans might change overnight. We must have budget plans and options to sew any ifs and buts. Yet, the good news is that if you learn from what you’re facing right now, you’ll be able to crest any future downturn with more confidence and certainty.

In all we have learnt that life is short & uncertain. All we can do is take deep breaths & brace yourself to face whatever comes our way. The best laid out plans can fail, the strongest can lay weak, the families can fall apart, we must embrace what we have, who we have & how we can keep them. Take care of yourself & our loved ones. This is Gunjan signing off. Love & peace ✌

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