Depression manifests in ways we don’t even realise.

The World Health Organisation consider depression to be a leading cause of disability & almost 264 million people suffer from it annually. When we hear the word depression often the common features pop up in our minds such as low mood, insomnia, fatigue, suicidal tendency etc. The picture where as is much large & the illness can manifest numerously. These symptoms are as real, as confusing & as distressed for individuals. Today i am writing about the lesser known symptoms to create awareness & eventually wellness. Let’s get into these.

Anger & Irritability. There you go, all of us do that, anger!!! That’s normal! Right? If something is not being done or said we get angry, someone not responding we get angry, kids not behaving we get angry, parents not lenient we get angry or whatsoever. The society has normalised the symptom itself. We don’t even consider it a problem then how are we going to treat it & how are we going to stop it from giving us the bigger mental health issue. Put an end to justifying anger & Irritability because it may be an evidence of underlying depression. Anger and irrigation are indicative emotions to inform you that something about the thing or relation or job is not okay & need to be taken care of. So look into the matters where you get frustrated & bring peace to yourself. Listen to the signs as you know prevention is better than cure.

Ruminating. Although the word originally means an action of cows when they re-chew their food over & over. The contextual meaning would be repeatedly playing a scenario in our mind & thinking about varied responses. For example someone asked you a question about carrier and you answered spontaneously without thinking. Now the event plays in your mind over over like some horror movie you would rather not see. In these thoughts you respond to that question in different ways & keep feeling horrible about how you actually responded. This reliving of that moment is exhausting & almost involuntary. It may go on for weeks depleting your energy & taking you down low to the illness.

Hampered decision making ability. Focus is something extremely important while maing decisions. When you are not in the right frame of mind it gets difficult to pay attention hence poor ability to choose the best. When deciding we need to weigh the potential risks & rewards of a particular thing. If we are depressed we tend to focus more on the negative impacts & have a biased outcome. If you find it difficult to choose things, make choices on a regular basis it may be because you suffer from depression. You have somewhat lost trust upon your choices or maybe you got robbed of self reliance & confidence.

Physical pain & tolerance can be reduced if you are emotionally weighted down. People who are not aware of their emotional health experience physical pains more often. The mind & body relationship is still being worked upon but there are many examples like your heart rate goes up when you get anxious, the butterflies you feel when you see your crush etc. When the mind has positive & calm thoughts you are full of energy, you feel motivated, always on the go. Just because you have had some emotionally ill experience you lay low just being. The example of being less motivated in normal routine would be not getting groceries, not putting things in place, not a thought about the messy hair, no workouts and other lifestyle changes. So i am saying that your mental health may have physical manifestation. Look for sings before it’s too late.

Depressed without beind sad. Yes,not every sad person is depressed like not every happy person is okay. People don’t even know whether they are sad or not specifically if you were bought up in a controlled environment. Some cultures call sadness a weakness so the people never accept themselves to be sad. Some people assume they are bored of routine and need change but don’t relate that they are sad. Also sadness doesn’t grab attention so people looking sad are not even offered help until they show more symptoms. People move on with these lesser known symptoms as if that is their life & learn to live with it.

Symptoms known or unknown depression impacts negatively, takes away quality life, saperates happiness from persons, hampers relationships, destroys families, dents childhood & what not. So talk to people around you about how you feel. How little the problem may be it will have a solution you just need to look for it. Take care of youself & everyone near you. This is Gunjan signing off. Love & Peace ✌

Emotional intelligence is the difference that makes the difference.

When i want something to be better than it’s today. When i want my body to feel better than it’s today. When i want my mind to feel better than it’s today. When i want my relationships to be better than they are today. Who should i go to? Sometimes we turn to our parents for better facilities, sometimes to our partners for better moments, sometimes kids for better behaviour, sometimes neighbours for better surroundings, sometimes colleagues for better performance, agree? When infact all these people can act only upto a physical level. Having to depend on others is loosing power over our lives. How we feel is independent of anything and anyone. We have the power to change the way we feel, the way our relationships are, the way our body is but we often do not turn to ourselves is because we do not even believe whether it’s me who can do it. This blog is about awakening our self that the more i am going to others the far i am going from solutions. Hence more complexity, more problems, more frustration and so on. I am the only person i should go to.

My thoughts and the way i feel. Every thought i create! Where does it influence, what is it’s effect, who does it reach? Ever wondered? Must have come across the phrase “what goes around comes around”. Simplest thought created radiates first to my mind then to my feelings then to my body eventually to my actions & then to the outside world. So you see whatever i think has utmost impact on me & my feelings.

We think our thoughts are based on the situations happening outside. For example the day things are going my way i feel happy, the day people are nice to me i feel respected, the day my kids listen to me i feel good, the day my partner takes me on dinner i feel loved and so on. We think it’s normal to feel this. So clearly the situations & the state of mind are inter connected. I want to question this usual notion. The situations are stimulus going on outside but response has to come from inside. So the response is independent of anything happening in front of me. This is emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is knowing that i am allowed to choose the way i think, the way i respond & the way i feel irrespective of what’s going on. When we say it’s obvious to feel bad, get angry, get frustrated because the situation is certain we are actually giving away our power of control over our feelings,emotions,words & more. Here we witness the futility of trying to control people. Whereas emotional intelligence is knowing when to display and when to delay the emotions.

You can’t heal in the same environment that made you sick. So keep what’s outside outside & get in youself to have better reaction. Nobody can empower you better than yourself. Make your mind the place where you have everything nice & when you sit with your thoughts you bounce back happy & healed. Don’t choose the easy way out by blaming others for your feelings. Face the challenge of being calm whatever the circumstances be. Take charge & let nothing hamper your bliss. Today promise to try a change that be the stimulus as small or as big as u can imagine, you will choose the emotion rather than doing the so called obvious. Tell yourself, my mind is quite intelligent & it says “It’s ok, loosing my peace of mind is not worth it for them or the situation”. No dependence on others is actual power. I don’t need any apology, i don’t need others to change, i don’t need others to be polite in order to be at peace within myself. Happen what may sitting a while with myself will heal me & create a better me. This is Gunjan signing off. Love & Peace ✌

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